just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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