I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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