Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
