and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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