Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
