Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize