he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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