I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
