I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
