Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The beer is more important than you right now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
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Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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