Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
