It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
