We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
