you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
