i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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