i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
