My liver just broke up with me...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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