oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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