I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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