He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
