take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
