like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
