Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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