I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
