I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
