it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
