Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize