You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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