How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Life is so much better after having sex.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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