I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize