think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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