I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
