I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
