Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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