Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish I only lived at night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
