I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
