So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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