why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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