just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
