im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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