trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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