i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
