Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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