i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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