So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
