The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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