Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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