How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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