mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
