thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
