walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
