dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
