eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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