I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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