So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize