so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
