I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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